The Scribe would like to extend his thanks to IXL for the remarkably prompt submission of his self-penned report about his Tuesday run in Cammeray, which was received the very next day, and to the Grand Master for providing a few details from the bucket.
The report reads as follows:
HARES IXL, assisted by WALKING DISASTER
DATE 6 APRIL 2021
The run was set on the first Tuesday after the clocks changed consequently there was total darkness by 6.30pm. Alas! Another few months of running in darkness.
Another looming problem was the weather forecast throughout the afternoon of light rain. Fortunately the rain didn’t happen and full reliance was on chalk arrows as per usual. But darkness was a factor in at least one runner, NEXT WEEK, retiring early because of a faulty torch, which had apparently been foisted on him by ALL FOURS, or so his excuse went.
But darkness did nothing to deter SAINT wanting to know whether the run traversed bush, and having been assured to the contrary, then amazing the Hare by producing a pair of white thongs that she intended to run in!
The trail covers the a large area of the Cammeray Northbridge locality stretching from the edge of the Warringah Freeway to Middle Harbour with Folly Point offering the best views. The start from the extended car park to the rear of Miller Street Cammeray headed off down the hill and crossing the Cammeray Golf Club. The trail split in Sutherland Street the walkers heading North towards Tunks Park and the runners headed up to Ernest Street and Belgrave Street turning south in the vicinity of the McDonalds corner. The runners wended their way around the back of Primrose Park before heading along Cammeray Road as far as Folly Point.
Trivia Info – why the name ‘Folly Point’: Residents of Cammeray Point North Sydney, objected to the name … ‘Folly Point’…notorious because of the NS -Water Board’s sew erageworks there. The ‘Evening News’ referred to this recently and pointed out that the sewerage works did not work. As a result, the waters of Middle Harbor had become polluted…Evening News 2 Aug 1924.
Meanwhile the walkers having crossed the golf course headed North via Avon and Carter Street before linking up with the runners trail above Tunks Park.The trail then proceeded down into the Tunks Park recreation area returning to base via Brothers Avenue, Strathallen Avenue Miller Street and Bellevue Street back to the car park and the bucket.
The long slog back up the hill from Tunks Park was bitterly criticised by PHANTOM, seemingly unused to such challenges, but managing nonetheless to keep up with the formidable STARBOARD. Happily it can be reported that SAINT also came home with her feet intact. Most of the runners came back around the hour mark and fortunately the bucket was well provided for.
In making his assessment of the Run, SHOES started by giving it minus two based on Stephen Fry’s game show antics, but eventually relented and awarded it 9.2
Despite competition from another Hash organised by Posh the preceding evening, (*Ed: a very short verbal report of which is to follow!), this run was extremely well attended, with approximately 40 showing up. After SHOES gave the run report, AFTERBIRTH stood in as RA: those receiving Down Downs included:
* Two visitors from Northern Beaches – OVER THE TOP, and LOST JEWELS
* CHUCK, DOUBLE PAY for Hats found Kayaking (*Ed: Please Explyne!)
* FRANKLY – Hiding cat food in her bra (*Ed: Ditto!)
* STARBOARD & PHANTOM – The latter was accused by the former of being 1 hour early to pick up STARBOARD (*Ed: for the run? For a date? Details unclear), but infact she’d forgotten to change her clock! (*Ed: D’oh!)
Following the sacred ceremony in the carpark many of the aforementioned 40 or so present then repaired to the Norths Club, where a table for 20 had been set aside with the kind assistance of the Club Manager of Events. On On IXL.
My thanks also to an ANONYMOUS HARRIETTE for this brief verbal report on the Joint Run set by the Posh at 4pm on Easter Monday In Longueville..
‘Great 6.3 km Bush Run, well attended, but really Crap Bucket: 1 bottle of bubbles for the whole Harriettes contingent, resulting in plenty of ‘Not Happy Jan’s! Passed on nearby pizzas afterwards’.
Looking forward to NODDY’s run in Drummoyne next week: don’t forget to bring (working!) torches.
No photos were provided of the run this week, although a hand-drawn map was, so, instead, the first photo attached is of the amazing view that the Scribe is looking out across at time of typing, on a rustic rivers’ edge Bush Retreat in the company of a few other hashers who are Bush Bashing further around the promontory, whilst this is being penned.
Also attached are the YouTube links for the Scribe’s 2 complete Mastermind appearances on TV in the run-up to the Easter Break: last week’s 5 minute ONJ snippet, and the musical spoof, were but a taster. These two clips can be enjoyed, or ignored..
Mastermind Australia Season 3: Episode 29
Mastermind Australia Season 3: Episode 30
Meanwhile, my thanks to MOTHER, for this shaggy rabbit story, as sent from the Top End. There were actually plenty of other jokes sent too, and some funny videos provided by PHANTOM, for which many thanks, but Optus 3G ain’t having a bar of them this arvo, so I think this single long joke will have to do. Upon the return of the Bush-bashing hashers I understand some kayaking is on the cards next, so I shall aim for brevity, and then will try getting this edition of the hash trash sent out to HAL, Optus shithouse reception notwithstanding..
*A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman:*
*‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’*
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.
The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round),
gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie.
The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.
The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman’.
The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’.
The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,
‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’ The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it?’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says,
‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll
‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.
He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
..NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman,
(who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his),
calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’, to which he is answered,
‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.
You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’
The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties.
You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’
The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’
‘I DIED’, said the rabbit.
‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause. The rabbit said…
(Not sure how to explain that one in Polish, ME KNOB!)