GRANGES Run Report

And they set fourth  Grange and D'Manda

Conscious of COVID conviviallity requirements 1.5 Metres apart

ONLY TWO . . . ONLY TWO  was it Noah said as ALL creatures, great and small , as they were boarding the ARK

Or did he say ONLY TWO . . . ONLY TWO to his sons its better to get to noah before you marry her.

But back to the START , So “THE PACK “ set fourth , no it was twooth.

Again the ringing in the ears ONLY TWO , echoing across the valley

As creatures Great and Small, lurking behind trees , some squawked from the tree tops , or quarks quarked from outer space

They all sensed , saw ,  smelled and swayed from yonder at the sight !

TWO just TWO Harriers Hustling 

In just 1km ( at break neck speed ) yes 3.4km and hour , Arrr so that’s why they call it “SPEED TRACKER” we checked the MAP plotted

or was that plodded.

Then FINALLY almost back the uphill climb to the START / FINISH ( although we we still in Australia )

Just a few metres to go before CRUNCH then another crispy CRUNCH

Oh well there’s LOTS more out there . . .  it was ONLY TWO . . . and they were SO TINY , I didn’t catch their NAMES

Could it have been INDIGN  . . ANT or TRIUMPH  . . ANT

Overwhelmed I gazed at the  AURA or was it a HALO

NO it was a CORONA Err 4.5%  at the FINISH . . or was the START


Is running in ovals now the norm?

At the virtual circle, the hardy hashers present were Frankly, Fetchit, 4  x 2, Colonoscopy, Starboard, Tripod, Jukebox, Next Week, All Fours, and Laundro.

Fetchit said he had done a great run through Cooper Park with Shoes, was it 10km or so. Shoes was not being present at the virtual circle.

Next Week and All fours said their biggest run in the last few weeks was around the house and garden, which one can only presume is not very far!

NEXT WEEK excelled himself THIS WEEK by out doing All Fours and wearing a top Hat!.  Good to see he has thought more about THIS WEEK rather than NEXT WEEK.

4 x 2 has not been on any great walks. Apparently the Harriettes are not having a virtual circle like us.

Tripod had run around an oval where there were 100 kids!

Colonoscopy also had the same experience and even kicked a few soccer balls when the young ones missed the goal. This week the oval was lit after 7 pm whereas previously there were no major lights. Good to see all these ovals being well used.

Starboard said she is still rowing in her single skulls early morning (must be cold at present?)  

Laundro was apparently sent to a spare room in his house. Eventually he was called to dinner by his daughters, we trust they are all good cooks.  This must be the case because of his eagerness to be fed by them.

The only question is : How many weeks will we have to wait to know who has chosen the exact date for the end of the lockdown?

What is the prize –a slab of the beer of one’s choice??

One expert now says elimination will be achieved when the state sees an average of 5 cases a day over 2 weeks!!  This model  shows target could be reached between 26 August and 16 September!

I will have to change my prediction.


When will NSW lockdown finish

fetchit30-Jul17/07/2021 1344
All Fours6-Aug17/07/2021 1859
Short Sheeter6-Aug19/07/2021 1215
Laundromat6-Aug21/07/2021 1424
Yripod11-Aug18/07/2021 1202
Next Week13-Aug17/07/2021 1826
Shoes13-Aug19/07/2021 1021
Curtseying13-Aug19/07/2021 1519
Pearl14-Aug19/07/2021 0912
Jukebox16-Aug19/07/2021 0928
All Fours20-Aug19/07/2021 1122
Colonoscopy21-Aug20/07/2021 1942
IXL30-Aug19/07/2021 0918
MeKnob31-Aug17/07/2021 1355
Bad News1-Sep19/07/2021 1511
Grange10-Sep18/07/2021 1343
Codpiece10-Sep19/07/2021 0934
Starboard15-Sep19/07/2021 1010
Outa25-Dec19/07/2021 1631

More stylised runs from Hornsby

Cow Appreciation Day

Roll Your Own 3 (Larrikin Run 2243) COVID-19 Lockdown Week 3

Official Hare Impi

Today, July 13 is Cow Appreciation Day. All Fours, as promised dressed up in her cow onesie – just don’t tell Impi she escaped from Ellis Park (here’s photographic proof). You might ask what the significance of Cow Appreciation Day is…

The day highlights the importance of cows in our lives, not only for the milk and meat that they provide, but for the work they do on farms like pulling carts and ploughs. They are also helpful when it comes to growing things, as their dung can be used as manure or as fuel.

At the virtual circle, the hardy hashers present were Frankly, Fetchit, Colonoscopy, Starboard, Tripod, Jukebox, Next Week, All Fours, Chimney and Laundro.

Discussions were mostly about the virtual background we all had (or lack of). Fetchit and Frankly changed from a sunset scene from Mykonos, Posh Jeonolan Caves Relay yellow singlet to the hash black foot and disappearing altogether. Tripod went from an old car to a red mustang to Rupert Bear. All Fours and Next Week had made their own personalised Larrikins logo background. Colonoscopy had his ‘serial killer’ white sheets, apparently he says it’s to hide all the porno magazines on the bookshelf. Chimney is still trying to work out how all his students managed to download the UNSW background onto their computers.
He still doesn’t know how to use his fancy Mac…

Jukebox, wearing his black beanie was asked what the current temperature is in Lithgow. “It’s 7.7oC but it’ll get to 0oC around midnight”. This week being more civilised, he wasn’t drinking wine from the bottle but beer from a glass.

Starboard signed off early as it was her birthday celebrations and Laundro went off to dinner.

Chimney is now off work until November, was originally willing to set all the runs until then but unfortunately we have to settle with ‘Roll Your Own’ instead! He is now looking at other ways to spend his time, perhaps take up Macrame or take Long Service Leave?

Chimney asked how this ‘Virtual Run’ thing works and was still left confused even after Fetchit explained in detail. Fetchit and Shoes sound like they’re the only ones who have been doing the hash runs – at least in the Eastern suburbs. Next Week and All Fours’ last run was 3 weeks ago at Me Knob’s run in Hornsby. Chimney has been running to the fridge and back. Colonoscopy has been playing tennis 3 times a week in Mosman. Frankly has been walking to work everyday and getting the bus home at 7:30pm.

Colonoscopy was not entertaining guests or cooking chicken tonight as he had done for the past 2 weeks. He didn’t think that he was breaking any Covid restriction rules as Fetchit pointed out that “the older you are the less compliant you are and rules don’t apply to old people”.

And to finish, here’s a cow joke:

Two cows in a field on a cold winter’s night. One cow says to the other, “I don’t know about you but I’m fresian”.


Moo Moo until next week’s RYO #4.

Stay at home and Hashing

It’s stay at home week two of three if we can believe the orders will end on Friday week.

We have to stay at home because of health orders. These orders are issued under section 7 of the Public Health Act 2010, has anyone read the act?

Notwithstanding these orders both Shoes and Next Week celebrated their birthdays last Saturday. Next Week invited the Manly Rugby League team to his party. Shoes of course invited the Roosters to his and neither party made the news!

Although the orders are “stay at home” most news outlets and politicians are now referring to it as “lockdown”. Tripod by the way says we should be locked in our homes and only allowed out to shop for food once a week. This must be done, he is the Religious Advisor!

The run, I’m not sure what others did, but Shoes and I retraced Run 2099 as set by Saint way back in 2019. Anyone remember the freedoms we had then? Any other run reports please send them to Scribe for inclusion in future newsletters.

From the run report of the day:

The run started at a well chosen location, close to public transport and with almost on-site free parking and, as the first daylight savings run, we were pleasantly surprised to circle up in daylight. Also, the weather was fine and dry. Praise be to the RA – Hallelujah!
Well marked arrows, carefully positioned checks and well spaced on-backs kept the pack together for most of the run which wound around the streets and into Centennial park, skirted past Queens Park and through Waverley Park before heading back to a well stocked bucket. Praise be to Laundromat – Hallelujah!
Impi gave a glowing run report and scored the trail a 9.75 as it was the first time he had seen Starboard throughout the whole run. The Trailmaster was also both complementary and complemented. Praise be to All Fours – Hallelujah!

The last Epistle must have been abysmal, so abysmal it prompted Bad News to share his Tasmanian hashing news for inspiration. The accompanying message if I’ve got it right is, every Hash communicates in different ways, some in words and others in pictures. Let me tell you it is difficult being Scribe, a balancing act between too little and too much information. This is an ongoing struggle and, thanks to Bristle for encouraging “Search Engine Optimisation” (SEO) I’ve now found a tool to help in newsletter readability. Let’s see how that works!

Finally the ZOOM meeting, again just the usual suspects. Me Knob joined us from his bed. Laundromat proud of his “00” Heineken. Starboard still planning to end her dry period just in time for her birthday. Colonoscopy, what can be said!

We had a weather report from Lithgow and Balgowlah, why because it was Fk’n freezing.

Well that’s it from me for this week, stay safe.

On On

Roll Your Own 5 (Larrikin Run 2245) COVID-19 Lockdown week 5

The hares will be ‘DIY’ and hashers can either send in their runs to the Scribe or post on Facebook.

Official Hare Ice Box, “Brisbane 2032″

Frankly is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Circle Run 2245
Time: Jul 27, 2021 07:30 PM Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney

Join Zoom Meeting

Meeting ID: 692 289 1288
Passcode: xZPFM5

Positions available – Interior Decorator and Colour Consultant

What da’ isn’t this the Larrikin news of the week? Maybe you should have been there at the zoom meeting on Tuesday, Tripod had trouble connecting and once connected couldn’t see more than one participant at a time, turns out he was on an android tablet. All fours suggested that Next Week could provide technical assistance from his tablet collection, unfortnately viagra didn’t help! Starboard sat quietly in the background sipping tea because her “Dry July” starts early so she can have a drink on her birthday!

Laundromat was there on time! Jukebox struggled with his video, Shoes appeared under the  pseudonym of Deborah and all this time Colonoscopy was lurking in the background with no audio or video, hilarious you ask, let me tell you not really, but did kill a few minutes whilst Frankly tried coaching and I went to the fridge for more beer.

By the time all the technical issues were sorted out Laundromats offspring arrived home with a dripping wet dog so he was summoned to the table for dinner.

Colonoscopy kept dissappearing leaving us looking at two sheets hung badly behind where he was sitting, seems he had unwanted company stuck at his place because of the stay at home orders and we also learnt he was cooking 3.2 kg of chicken to feed said person.

Tripod kept disappearing and re-appearing. During one of his brief appearances he took the floor to charge Shoes for the long winded email he sent me the scribe expressing his disappointment that he wasn’t recognised for his vaccination status, turns out he didn’t realise sending emals from the blog can be personalised. Codpiece and Lounge Lizard alike chose to respond.

With charges laid the circle was thrown open to the floor, top of mind to all present was WTF were those sheets behind Colonoscopy?

Seems Colonoscopy has an ugly bookcase adorned with 50 years of books from his places of work. Conversly Tripod’s background was a similar sized bookcase again adorned with books, but tasteful so it didn’t have to be hidden, thus our need for an interior decorator – volunteers?

This brings me to the colour consultant role, I mentioned Jukebox was on and again his background caught the attention of the assembled pack, why two locks on the door behind him?

Answer, thats the front door and to remain secure in Lithgow you need double locking which lead Jukebox to complain that he had sent a copy of the worldwide On On monthly magazine and I’d failed to mention it in previous correspondance, shame on me!

To make amends and help relieve stay at home boredon here is the link to the entire On On Collection

Sorry I got sidetracked having established the security risks of life in Lithgow and suffered abuse for failing to publish I took note of the lack of colour in Jukebox’s background thus thinking as a caring hash in confinement perhaps we should help fellow hashers who don’t have the skills or technology to use virtual backgrounds painting and decorating advise for the rooms they use for zooming.

For the records, this was Run 2241, hare, Tripod. I haven’t seen any proof of a trail but I can assure all that Shoes and I ran the Eastern Surburbs trail.

Anything you wish to share electronically about your week please forward it to

On On


Hornsby has street lights!

Run report:

Run: 2240

Hare: Me Knob

Around 20 people arrived: Squeaky, D’amanda, Grange, Laundro, Pretzel, Next Week, All 4s, Phantom, Starboard, Impi, Outa, Lady Di, Saint, Bristle, Frankly, Fetchit, Tripod, Shoes, Codpiece, Mongrel, Chimney.

Run went through the train station where some guy just mopped my first check. Then it went along the Hornsby Westfield, straight through the fountain which doesn’t work since it was made and then through the trees with lights and to the first on back. Then the second on back, then a couple of paths going through other people’s properties. Then it nicely went up the round near the OfficeWorks and back on the other side of the road decreasing the distance between front and back runners. Then it went near my office and near the brothel where in the morning there was still a portable generator for the night (there was no power in Hornsby between 22:00 and 5:00). After going a bit uphill it went downhill with a couple of on backs, and then 3 more on backs finished with the split. Walkers had a “W” on their every arrow, a special touch, they loved that. Runners had to run uphill, they had a check with multiple arrows, but Shoes realised that Starboard was in front and there was no sight of her so she probably just ran through and missed the check meaning that it goes straight which was a good lead. Then we went a bit along the Hornsby Hospital, and then again we turned into some alleys. Tripod precociously started running on the opposite side of the road. The trail did a bit of a snake shake and one check was longer than the others, where we got up with Phantom who said that the front runners (Impi and Starboard) went there, pointing at the correct direction, but was sure that the trail was not heading there. After 5 min of waiting for runners, Phantom finally realised that maybe there was a trail, because they hadn’t returned. Then we all ran down the hill but it was again a short on back and went into a back street. We ran up towards the Waitara Oval where the runners trail joined with the walkers one, but no walkers were in sight. Then we turned right into an alley surrounded by apartments and passed by the indoor pool up to the last check. Then it went along the Hornsby Westfield back to the parking lot next to the RSL. Shoes was so into the run that he started running it again, because I forgot to cross the arrows out at the beginning.

Bucket was nice, at the RSL parking, well lit place, there were 2 jokes: about mushy breasts and about ex-wife getting double what ex-husband wished for, they were ok, down down for Laundro’s and Bristle’s shoes, 9.5 from All4s, charge for a generator next to massage centre from Bristle.

Note to myself: On backs could be longer; Checks are terrible if front runners get them right; Put a long on back after every check.

On On


The Queens Birthday holiday JOINT Run

Run 2239

Hare: Chuck (Harriettes Joint Run)

By the time I arrived for the start of the run the Harriettes were in full swing setting up for the bucket. with the usual suspects standing around discussing their weekend past. Present were Mongrel, Outa, Afterbirth, Impi, Starboard, All Fours, Next Week, Phantom, Colonoscopy, Tridod, good to see Squeaky Clean and Mother, both have been MIA for the last few weeks. Venerable and Ollie were keen for a start, Grange was there, Chimney also, pretty sure I saw Bren Gun and I definately saw Me Knob, Balloon, Shoes, Saint, Blowin, Laundromat and Lady Di, Pretzel was there but didn’t register anyone I’ve missed or forgotten, sorry!

Harriettes GM, Little Goat told us the bucket was sacred and would not open under any circumstances before 7:20pm. Chuck the hare for the evening then explained there were many options along the trail to shorten your run or walk and it was up to the individual to choose.

The run was very well set mostly in Neutral Bay with a brief jaunt across North Sydney Oval including a short cut thanks to Impi’s superior hashing skills. Crossing back across the freeway we encountered a bit of a speedbump with the pack unable to find on from a check, With trail eventually found on Alfred St we were off again eventually arriving back at the bucket for a well earned beer or two.

It’s worth a shout out to Impi who was a little concerned for Squeaky so decided to stop running and walk to home with him. This is where I need to encourage all Larrikins to carry your mobile phones on runs, this has proven invaluable on one or two occasions lately..

Cudos to the Harriettes for an excellent Joint Run, with representatives from Thirsty, Northern Beaches, Botany and a sole Posh man, Molly!

Colonoscopy decides going bush isn’t a good idea!

Originally the intention was to make the runners really run hard as has been done in the summer to the Sugarloaf circular run in Castle Cove, even though this was a winter run near the shortest day of the year.

Before the run was set, the big worry was the weather: 80% chance of rain by 7pm on Tuesday-which would cause all sorts of problems!

However before 5pm dark clouds were seen on the horizon and feeling sorry for the runners it was decided to make the run shorter so they would not get wet through on the home run especially those with paws. The intention was to keep them busy with checks and on backs.

The arrows were put under bushes wherever possible. This made it very easy for All Fours to follow the trail being closer to the ground. Three arrows were put down together rather than normal one in case washed out.

The pack set off together heading away from the car park, then having to traverse traffic lights to move further east, with more traffic lights having to be crossed throughout the run.

There were numerous checks and on backs to keep the pack together.  There was even a Very short walkers link in Edinburgh road in case there was a sudden downpour at 6.45pm with lots venturing back home, however this did not happen. There was a normal walkers split.

Runners who went past Willoughby bus terminus hopefully may have thought of Singapore Sling’s old work depot!

The first runner arriving home at about 7.15 pm was Starboard having run the full 6km run

Starboard was the first back. All were back by about 7.35pm with Double Pay bringing up the rear arriving just before the circle was about to start.

For a potentially wet night there was a good role up of over 25.

One visitor ex hasher Peter was present as guest of Shoes.  He apparently intends to come again. A few Harriettes who wanted more than just a gentle Harriette walk also came along.

Impi gave the run a top score of 9.9, with the rain then steadily coming down!

It was then onto the Bridgeview Hotel for good food and wine.


Twin Dicks shows us the stairs of Mosman

Nobody actually said anything until after the run, but it seems that Hares are expected to write their own run reports for the Larrikins these days.  No wonder the runs are all so good.  Anyway, we all fronted up at the Alan Border Oval in Mosman, where the first job was to explain the arrows.
The previous day had seen the appearance of a rather cryptic and insulting message from a Poshman pointing out that this run would be in the same area as theirs and couldn’t we learn to be smarter and avoid them.  In reply I pointed out that if non-members could actually access the Posh run information that would help, but as they had become a secret society (anyone know their handshake?) this was unlikely to happen.
However, not wanting to get half-way round the trail and find the Posh arrows confusing even our highly intelligent members, I explained that the arrows used for this trail were slightly unusual.  So the mob set off for a pleasant meander through the area between the Oval and Sirius Cove.  There were quiet streets and laneways, a few checks and on-backs  There were stairs, only down for the walkers but both ways for the other lot, and hills, both up and down.  Unfortunately, starting at virtually the highest point of Mosman meant that the downs came mainly at the beginning of the run and the ups at the end, but that’s hashing for you.
First back, after about 50 minutes, was Ollie, newly shorn, sporting a smart jacket and florescent collar and gamely dragging Venerables behind him.  Other runners soon came in, with the walkers not far behind.  With Mongrel on his way to Adelaide (hopefully by plane so he doesn’t get lost) and the likes of Double Pay and Chimney not willing to confront the Harbour Bridge, it was left to Colonoscopy to bring up the rear, just as the circle was getting started.
With Tripod warming to his new job as RA, the Hare was called for a down-down, along with the new GM to present a run report.  Apparently it was a good trail that everyone enjoyed (except possibly for the stairs up on the runners trail), and was awarded a 9.3 out of 10.  Other down-downs went to MK (? help me out here editor) for missing a runners/walkers split, Venerable, for falling asleep at the table at the AGPU and B (? ditto) for getting pissed at the same function.
And then it was off to the pub for the $16 steaks.