So, the Scribe is indebted to both NYMPHO from the Harriettes, and NEXT WEEK from the Larrikins, for not one, but TWO run reports received this week, covering the AUSTRALIA DAY 2021 LARRIKINS & HARRIETTES JOINT RUN @ ROYAL MARRIQUEVILLE GOLF CLUB.
Though I say it myself, it was a very enjoyable occasion, on a warm evening, following what had been a f*cking hot day to have set a run: my thanks to one and all from both clubs for turning up to the first Joint Run since ROVER’s Memorial Run, which had followed LAST Australia Day, and thanks for representing the Thirsty Hash on the night, DEADLY TREADLY: ‘twas good to see you. There follow the Walker’s Report on the event from the Harriettes, and the Runner’s Report from the Larrikins..
HARRIETTES REPORT: written by NYMPHO.
Judging by the way CHIMNEY Greeted 43 runners with some clear ‘educational instructions’ he must have had Alphabet Soup for lunch. The Hare, CHIMNEY, is never at loss for a word or two and, at the start, in the Marrickville Golf Club House car park, he advised the ABCD’s of his run.
A = Albo’s car Accident. All Welcome. And whAt ever else he Advised B = Bucket and Booze. Bends in the trail. Brilliant views. C = the hare Chimney. The Cooks River. The Climate. The Club House D = the many places for the wAlkers to ‘Delite’ (rest their Buttocks) the trail … there were seats well-spaced along the Cooks River walkway and each that Chimney numbered D1 to D8.
(Ed: the following info pertains to captions for pictures NYMPHO put in the Harriettes’ newsletter, which are included below in the S2H4 Trash)
BRENGUN boasted that he rested on all to watch the passing parade. LAUNDROMAT showed off his 1987 Botany Bay T shirt. I was wearing my 1988 Larrikins’ Aussie Day T. LIZARD and BARBIE DOLL (pictured) at the Buttocks ‘de-lite’ number D4. A keen bit of short-cutting and we Bypassed D5: DEADLY TREADLY, ALL FOURS, STRETCH, SKIPPY and FRANKLY were there. N for NO KNICKERS, J for JUKEBOX, G for GRANGE, and N for NYMPHO. P for POLISH ME KNOB, T for TRIPOD, S for SIBERIA, L for LADY DIi and W for WHITE RABBIT (who arrived just after the run started). The R is reserved for Runners, A for Arrived and here’s CURTSEYING too. NEXT WEEK at the end of the Runners trail was sweaty but happy to have done the whole trail. Visitor LUCY, NO KNICKERS, CHIMNEY, FETCHIT, RA GRANGE and Bucket Master MONGREL. D for Down Down for BRENGUN for B for Boasting he’d rested on all D1 – D8 seats inclusive. N for NYMPHO – thanking the Larrikins and D for declaring she didn’t know where the “f” the N for next Harriettes’ run would be. I for IXL and W for WALKING DISASTER. Dinner at the club house brought out the Italian in all of us. Now for a song: Let’s all begin with A B C D E F G … Happy Australia Day to all. – ONON A is for ACE. Hare: CHIMNEY BRENGUN gave the run (Ed: or in his case, the walk) a 9.8 (Ed: thanks, BRENGUN!).
..and now for the.. LARRIKINS RUN REPORT: written by NEXT WEEK..
Shortly after I said ‘yes’ to writing a run report for CHIMNEY’s Marrickville run, I realised that it needed to be more than just my usual ‘good run, mate’. Have read a few of CHIMNEY’s previous run reports and to the best as I can, I have tried to imitate his inimitable style (it may be a few chapters short though)!
For ALL FOURS and I, going to the run was a road trip which required checking the car over to ensure that there was enough fuel for the drive from the Northern Beaches and just be clear to all the readers, I mean the ‘Southern Northern Beaches’ not the ‘Northern Northern Beaches’ – which caused the nasty lock-down over Christmas. Once the car was cleared for take-off we were away and having made excellent progress across the various bridges, we soon found ourselves with enough spare time to visit IKEA before the run.
The trip around IKEA proved to be a good warm up for the hash run as we followed the arrows around the store and even took a shortcut through a portal but we quickly retraced our steps when we realised we had gone backwards on our path and were re-entering the Kitchen section. Finally, we reached the checkouts with 4 schooner glasses and a new kitchen bin and with a wave of plastic and our new spoils safely stowed, we were once again on our epic journey.
On reaching the Golf Club, we saw various hashers arriving in quick succession and before long a pack of forty or more hashers had assembled – a good turnout for a public holiday with the number swelled by the fact that it was a joint run with the Harriettes.
CHIMNEY gave a briefing on the run, walk, short-run, short-walk and short-cut which was not particularly brief. He then he confused us even more by describing the run as an A to B to C to D run with references to Albo’s car crash, ‘delight stops’ and other things that I cannot remember. Anyway, suffice it to say that the assembled group, who were only half listening to him, gained little knowledge about the run from the briefing – when did hashers ever pay attention anyway! We set off up the road from the car park and were soon in the streets of Marrickville looking for arrows when we found the runner/walkers split. Predictably, the runners went uphill while the walkers maintained a level path.
The first part of the run, for it was a run of several parts, had many ups and downs and plenty of checks to keep the runners together. After first missing the turning up the ramp, we went through a Woolworths car park, along the appropriately named Warren Road and into Kings Lane, the name of which sent my thoughts back to my time in Brighton in England where there is a collection of narrow lanes famous for their small shops and narrow alleyways called ‘The Lanes’. I recall Dukes Lane and the nearby Seven Stars pub but don’t recall a Kings Lane. Anyway, I digress, back to the run where we went past a twin turreted folly at Marrickville Peace Park which reminded me of a chapter in The Lord of the Rings – but that story will have to wait for another time.
We soon reached the edge of the Cooks River and along a very pleasant waterfront path through Mackay Park. After playing ‘Frogger’ crossing the road at Tempe station (Ed: and cutting out a 10 minute loop on the other side of the railway line, which entailed running both over -by bridge- and under -also by bridge the line!), a right turn on Bayview Ave occurred, after which the pack ran across the aforementioned Cooks River and though Waterworth Park where we encountered another check. However, this was no ordinary check, this check managed to split up the pack into those who are prepared to find trail at any cost and those who just want to get back to the bucket and drink.
SHOES, ME KNOB and YOURS TRULY (aka ‘The Wollies’) went in search of the divine path along the Jackson Track by Wolli Creek and everyone else, including (and probably led by) our Trailmistress – ALL FOURS, ignored the deafening calls of ‘On On’ from The Wollies and took the path of least resistance along Bayview Ave and thereby shortcut a good part of the run.
The Wollies made good progress in the wilderness and when the path veered off to the left they followed in anticipation only to find a cheeky little on-back which caused some dismay but did not dampen their spirits. In need of some relief but unable to find a secluded spot, The Wollies found themselves ‘up the creek without a piddle’ but were soon out of the bush and back in civilisation. The Wollies then crossed Bayview Ave where the short-cutters had been some time earlier as evidenced by a well-marked check at Bayview Lane where once again my thoughts went back to the Lanes in Brighton…
The Wollies took a wiggle around another appropriately named street – Homer St which brought them back to the Cooks River and a straightforward but relentless jog along the south bank to a bridge where CHIMNEY’s ancient hieroglyphics gave the option of crossing the bridge or continuing along the riverbank for 10-20 minutes – depending on your physical state at this point in the run. The babble from the bucket and the imagined heady aroma of Coopers Pale Ale made the bridge the only option for The Wollies and, as they found out later, for everyone else except TRIPOD, who attempted the long course only to find it ‘a bridge too far’ and turned back after about 500m.
At the bucket, there was a good selection of drinks to refresh the masses before the circle was called by GRANGE where BREN GUN awarded the run 9.5 (I think) and the Harriettes were formally welcomed to our bucket. The On-Inn was rather good too and excellent pizzas served with good humour by JENNIFER who really enjoyed calling out our hash names. I think the Golf Club may now become a regular location for both the Larrikins and the Harriettes.
Many thanks CHIMNEY, as I said earlier – ‘good run, mate’ On On, NEXT WEEK.
So, thanks very much NYMPHO and NEXT WEEK for those two reports. The run undertaken by NEXT WEEK appears below with NYMPHO’s photos (and excludes the extended walker’s trail and the Tempe station loop): what a sterling effort by the ‘Woolies’!
MOTHER’s Casuarina Hash contact didn’t send any funnies this week, so I’m using some Blonde Jokes that he sent back in May last year, which I don’t think I used at the time. Apologies if I did, and apologies too to any natural or otherwise blondes who might be reading this..!
Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?’ The other blonde turns and says
‘Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????’
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, ‘What’s the story?’
He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff,
‘I wish you guys would get your act together .
Just yesterday you take my license away, and now today you expect me to show it to you!’
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the doctor.. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde
were talking one day.
The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot!
You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’
She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’
‘HELLLOOOOOOO. . .. ,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’.
Meanwhile, here’s a reminder that Blondie rocked!
And so on to the Eastern Suburbs on Tuesday for ON YER BIKE’s Kenso run, in territory familiar to the Scribe when UNSW is up and running, which it hasn’t been for the past 11 months: no doubt further musings on that subject might occur in next week’s Hash Trash.
In addition to the following varying run and on-on photos, the Scribe wishes to thank JUKEBOX for supplying evidence of IMPY’s secret evening job!
On On, CHIMNEY