MELBOURNE CUP LUNCH AND RUN 1997 01 NOV 2016

KAFFIR REPORT-MELBOURNE CUP LUNCH.

Heard on the grapevine that the owners of Crows Nest Hotel had upgraded the pub once they heard that I [KAFFIR]was coming to the lunch.Apparently spent about 5 Million Bucks.They wanted to impress me.They DID!It was very jazzy-nice bars,lounges .

I arrived about 10:30am . SENATOR turned up.He told me that prior to joining the Larrikins in 1992 he had for 3 years been in the Hash in Samoa where he worked as  a Financial adviser for the Samoan Government.   Shortly after he left this position the Government went into liquidation. Investigations still continue even after all these years.

I then noticed a sinister looking chap with hat pulled down over his eyes skulking around.  He looked like an American Gangster from the Thirties.On closer inspection I realised it was IXL.

I had advised K9 by email that I would pay the $39 entrance fee on the day. I was not able to go up the stairs to the Ist floor because the Security Guard said to me”Piss off”.IXL came to the rescue I paid the ”bugs bunny”.   Despite this I noticed the Security Guard kept his eye on me throughout the day.

The 1st Floor was beautiful-2 bars,partly open to the skies. I noticed VENERABLE examining the artificial green GRASS-Electrical problem? He seemed very concerned-had he been ”GRASSed up”?

Food was hand served by very attractive females-it was very tasty.  So were the females.Noticed they were eyeing me off-The USUAL!!!     BEROCCA looked stunning in her White hat and dress. ACE was nicely dressed.    The place was packed-ON were NODDY,ROCKY,GIGO[looking well],  MOTHER[nice coat and tie],FULL MARKS[back from Peru],  PRETZEL,LAUNDRO,DOUBLE PAY,STRETCH,GRANGE.,SQUEAKY,SALTPETRE [MINUS BEARD].

The Cup started.I was sitting on very comfortable lounge with my back to the screen, when the following amazing repartee ensued.

COLONOSCOPY-”Kaffir-you have to turn around to watch the  Cup on the screen”.

KAFFIR – ”COLONOSCOPY,  I have eyes in the back of my head.  I can also see the screen by looking at the reflection  in your eyes.

” COLONOSCOPY:  ”The EYES  have it”.

SUMMARY-GREAT DAY-WELL DONE  COMMITTEE!

RUN REPORT BY IXL

mapofrun

The run was appropriately short 2.5 km by my count, and reduced by short cutting, for the few who attended, but thanks to Pretzel for going to all the trouble. I discovered a part of Waverton I have never been into before despite being a local. It’s amazing how much bush is left in this part of Sydney and a pleasant post-lube to the goings on in Crows Nest Hotel.

PICTURES TELL THE STORY