Of Laneways, Buckets, Park Pick-Ups, Whinges and Pussies


Laneway Lil finds more laneways in Paddo, Darlo & East Syd.
Starting at the cul de sac of Albion St Paddington just around the corner from Afterbirth’s run a few weeks ago, Me Knob thought he would be running through Centennial Park again. But no, that was the furthest from the truth you would get.
So the runners went south down the first lane to do a bit of a loop that I let the walkers miss by sending them straight up Albion to join the runners at the corner. The timing was pretty perfect as I saw the runners going past as the walkers were turning the corner now heading north up through the plant lined lanes in a part of Paddo that our esteemed scribe, Chimney, professed he had not known about this “urban oasis” in his 30 odd years of living in Sydney.
The run wound around lanes crossing South Dowling St into Darlinghurst eventually winding around to Taylor’s Square and across Oxford St heading down to East Sydney where there was a walkers split. The walkers split was to take them up the only stairs on the trail – the runners only getting hills without stairs. Brengun was so impressed at being on stairs he had not been on before that he kept going up the next flight across Bourke St even though the walkers trail went right at Bourke. He did join up with the walkers after his digression. I later advised that I had not taken the walkers up the last flight as it would have taken them too close to a runner’s check.
For the runners, the trail went deeper into East Sydney almost to William St, but not quite. Then up to Darlinghurst with a check opposite Rover’s Darlo digs. From there almost into the Cross, but not quite. Then through some more Darlo streets to almost St Vincents hospital, but not quite (unless they found the walkers trail). The trail then wound around a few more streets in Paddo up to Victoria Barracks on Oxford and then on in home back down Albion.
The walkers started arriving back at around 7:10. Oops, I thought, I should have done the walker split a bit later on the trail, but no-one was complaining. Chimney had even shortcutted before the split – apparently an old hashing skill learned from Tubby of not heading downhill as you know you will always have to come back up. The runners were back around 7:20 – oops, a bit short for the runners? No-one was complaining. In fact, there was a lot of congratulating for a great walk/run. The runners and walkers were kept pretty close together – something I hadn’t counted on – pat on the back to me.
So Afterbirth gives the run report and awards it 9.7 – pretty good I thought. No need to adjust.
Down downs at the bucket:
Dead Man Running – a visitor from the ”World Hash” starting with New York Hash and most recently, for the past 20+ years, with Sydney Thirsty.
Shoes – for not having new shoes but different shoes – guess that’s good enough excuse for a down down
Me Knob – for having a dancing running style (Ed: he did demonstrate this dancing style, in a Tik Tok clip, at the pub, when pressed for a further explanation, but have no recollection of what it was called..)
Fetchit – for waking Frankly (me) at 3 am in the morning to tell me that my pussy was dead!
Missed The Bucket — After a number of sporadic S2H4 appearances since first pitching up at Rocky & Berocca’s Farewell Run at the end of Spring, Kirrily finally received a naming. It was based on the fact that her surname is the same as that of an essential hash component, (Ed: indeed the very one at which her naming occurred!), namely it’s Buckett!! Since the naming occurred verbally, neither the Hare nor the Scribe are entirely sure of the spelling of her new hash name, but we’re opting for Missed the Bucket, or perhaps Missed da Bucket, although it could also have been Miss d’Bucket or Miz de Bucket. Depending on what variation of this name she opts for when ordering her shirt for the upcoming 2222 Run in March, we assume that this will be what she’ll be known as thereafter. But for now it’s Missed The Bucket.
So to the On In at the Taphouse Pub
Complaints
Bristle – for having his backpack confiscated by the “Soup Nazi” as he had the left-over bottle of red from the bucket
Impi – coz his burger was shit. Laudro commenting that would be the end of the working bees at his farm if he complains. Next time we will come and tear down the sheds and cut the wire fences. Watch out Impi, he has a good memory about these types of transgressions!
Missed The Bucket — ‘lovely steak but the sauce tasted like detergent: I should have sent it back’.
Colonoscopy complained in writing in the morning to the Scribe that the hares should check out the On In food prior to booking them – apparently his food was shit also. So, I ask how does a hare do this? Are they expected to go and try all the meals out before the night and then change the venue last minute if one of them is shit? Especially given the Taphouse had only that week changed the menu.
Compliments
Bristle – to the other non-Soup Nazi waitress that served us upstairs
Chimney — ‘Excellent schnitzel and Pretzel’s chips, which I ate most of, were great too!’
Steak sandwiches and fish tacos were good.
So all I can say is: you can’t please everyone all of the time – suck it up guys. (Ed: hear hear!).
On On Frankly
: The saga of Frankly’s allegedly extinct pussy led to the Scribe immediately thinking of 2 famous Pommy comedy images: Mrs Slocombe’s Pussy and Monty Python’s Dead Parrot, YouTube links to both of which are as follows:
Mrs Slocombe’s Pussy..https://youtu.be/vRJlItzalJY
Monty Python’s Dead Parrot.. https://youtu.be/z9SMUzj-_4Q
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Meanwhile here’s a story from Hawaii..
Two priests decided to go on a Hawaiian vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc…
The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their ‘tourist’ garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a ‘drop dead gorgeous’ blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said ‘Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,’ nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits .
These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, and said
‘Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,’ and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, ‘Just a minute, young lady .’ ‘Yes, Father?’
‘We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?’ She replied,
‘Father, it’s me… Sister Kathleen…
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(Ed: can’t remember if I already used this one: apologies if it’s a repeat..)
Wifi joke
DEAR NEIGHBOUR:
“Hi, Max, This is Richard, next door. I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you’re not around, I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently. I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt & hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Regards Richard.
Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Checker had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.”
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There follow a few pics of the ‘Urban Oasis’ mentioned in *Frankly’s* report.
As an addendum to aforementioned excellent report, there also follows a Facebook post from a friend of the Scribe’s, *Ulo*, who is an archivist of Sydney’s gay history, printed with his permission. *On Yer Bike, Bristle, Missed The Bucket *and* Chimney* all found ourselves running past the rotunda in the park in front of St Vincent’s Hospital towards the end of the trail, and were wondering what the open air show was, that appeared about to start. Ulo’s Facebook post below explains it.

“COVID19: This is an extraordinary way of presenting a Gay Theatre production during a Pandemic laced Mardi Gras ~ it is ‘GREEN PARK’ performed in Green Park ~ a story of a Grindr* encounter that will turn your Aunt, Giddy ~ Warren an older man from the Country meets with Eden, a 19 year old who has not slept for a few days doing Drugs ,in the park that has in the past been a Beat*, is next to The Wall* & borders St Vincents Hospital ~ on Arrival you are given headsets & a blankie if you have not got one, & asked to sit/lay in the park keeping the 1.5 meters from the rest of the Audience ~ Warren arrives off the street & sits on a bench, it presents from there, the park is it’s usual self, Bats flying into the trees, Cocatoos gliding by, people stroling along the pathways, all while the encounter which ranges from Hilarious to Tragic plays out using the Park as it’s set, & the headsets for a fantastic Audio experience ~ I give this all the stars that we sat under to voyeuristcally be part of this theatre experience~ i was given the entire script in a booklet form to be preserved by the Australian Queer Archives ~”.
On-On to Blues Point Road and Pretzel’s run next week..