Report – 2 Feb 2021: Run No – 2220
Hare- On Ya Bike
Start- Roma Ave, Kensington
The ‘Day at the Races’ run got off to a clean start with no one left at the gate. There was one scratching. About 25 horses or so were in the field with about a 60 :40 pit pony : thoroughbred split . Pit Ponies did a 4 km trotting loop around Royal Randwick on a non race day – more’s the pity – while the thoroughbreds cantered a 7.16 km double loop of southern Centennial Park, including the wonderous and wide LRT shared path and then the pit ponies Royal Randwick loop . Both trails had traffic, trams, big figs, bikes, a hill and vistas . (*Ed: and horse manure..?)*
No covid police showed up at the circle – just for a change . Maybe because, for what ever reason, the proceedings where conducted in hushed tones by our esteemed RA, IMPI, whose charcoal business shirt, dark slacks and black shoes raised the sartorial standards of the hash circle to levels rarely seen. (*Ed: sounds a tad funereal: did one of the pit ponies need to be euthanized?*). Complements flowed about the run which had plenty of chalk and checks . It got a 8.7 from the hare …..not bad for a horse race .
But it does raise the question: was Impi secretly wanting to attend the Tuesday meeting of the Masons at the adjoining Eastern Suburbs Masonic Temple? Was he put off by the fact most of the Masons wear white shirts with black bow ties and Kelly Country black suits? Would he stand out ? Who knows? The coincidence of the hash and the Masons meeting on the same night in the same place did not pass unnoticed be either group, however. (*Ed: I’ve been known to have described the hash to the non-cognoscenti as an alcoholic Masonic chapter that sometimes runs..)*.
The On Inn at the Doncaster was marked by the fact that the $15 tight arse Tuesday special was off the menu by the time we got there. How does a Sydney pub run out of steak on a Tuesday night? (*Ed: every time I go there they’re raffling a meat tray: did anyone win that by way of compensation for missing tight-arse Tuesday steaks, perchance?*) The quality of the run however made up for catering shortfall, and another unforgettable S2H4 Tuesday was had by all .
On On, OYB.
Well thanks for that, On Yer..
All those equine references had me thinking of the Queen album ‘A Day at the Races’, in which they don’t actually sing about races at all (Bicycle Race appeared on a later album). Nonetheless it provides an opportunity to provide a link to a clip of a well known performance of the best known song off that album, as it was performed at Freddie’s memorial at Wembley.. Enjoy!
Meanwhile, the Scribe thanks PHANTOM for a copy of the following correspondence..
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
This is a letter from a retired gentleman:
“My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is not an option for us in the evening. I’m ready for some home-cooked food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating but now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, for example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour, but chaps, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol. I’m not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.”
Epilogue: Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after publishing this letter.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Driver golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing. A sledge hammer was laying nearby.
His wife Carol, was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 9 minutes to find her “Not Guilty”, accepting her defence that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
In haste, because the Scribe has a shed load of marking to do (or a stable full, keeping the equine theme going), he’s going to come to a halt here.
Don’t forget to support the 2222 Run and Hash Centenary Birthday (LAUNDROMAT’s 70th & POLISH ME KNOB’s 30th) on March 2nd, and to buy an event teeshirt if you can’t fit into any of your old ones (*Ed: are you gaslighting here, Ed?*!).
On On CHIMNEY
No pics were taken at the Day at the Races, so thanks to Google Images for the following 4 pics of a pit pony 🙁 , a thoroughbred, Royal Randwick, the Doncaster Hotel, and the alternative served up to the Larrikin pack in lieu of tight-arse steaks.