The Scribe wasn’t expecting to be writing up this week’s run, mainly because he walked and shortcutted most of it, but in lieu of a report from PRETZEL, or anyone else nominated to write it by Pretzel, here’s what I recollect. There was no walker’s map, and a check 150 metres from the start buggered things up big time for the walkers: people went in every direction except in the direction of any visible trail. By ‘people’ that would include BRENGUN, who headed north straight up the steepest hill in North Sydney in that Ministry of Funny Walks’ style that he can occasionally morph into; SQUEAKY and IXL, who headed west up another hill, to no avail, NO KNICKERS and STRETCH, who headed south, down hill, and FRANKLY, who got on the dog and bone to someone (presumably not FETCHIT, who came to the evening dressed like Steve Irwin, in bush boots, and wasn’t on the run), to find out in which suburb chalk might first be located. By this stage latecomer MISSED THE BUCKET, who’d MISSED THE START, caught up, but was also none the wiser as to where elusive trail might be found. FRANKLY did eventually confirm there was some heading south ( on the street parallel to the one on which STRETCH and NO KNICKERS had struck out) but at this stage the Scribe made a mistake and opted to follow returnees NODDY and SENATOR, who were keeping to the high ground, rather than descending towards the Harbour as suggested by FRANKLY and, I think, MOTHER. It was a mistake because it meant I missed out on running through Wendy Whiteley’s Secret Garden, somewhere I’ve still never been, and something I’ll need to rectify sometime soon. Having followed the above-mentioned returnees, MISSED THE BUCKET and I found ourselves back in the pub, escaping the rain, some 20 minutes earlier than we probably should have been there. It was at this stage that the hare’s bro-in-law, LAUNDROMAT, popped in and pointed out that a scenic bucket was occurring just 150-200m downhill from the pub, which led to a natural exodus to said bucket. Arriving late I needless to say missed the down-downs and the run report and rating, but I can confirm that it did indeed have a great view, and that there was an unexpected brief appearance from a local with superior hashing knowledge: not sure if he was a Posher, or who he was, although he looked remarkably like FREESTROKER, but he declined the offer of a down-down. I think someone (TRIPOD, perhaps?) told a joke, but alas I can’t remember it if he did, and beyond that it’s a blank. Back at the Rub a Dub Dub, seemingly all the specials had gone, but the Un-special (but very yummy) Baramundi curry proved to be a good choice, despite ME KNOB trying to tea leaf it (not sure why I’ve suddenly lapsed into Cockney Rhyming Slang all of a sudden): as they say in the Polish quarter of London’s East End.. “ Trzymaj swoje żyjące rękawiczki z dala od moich ryb z curry, stary!”
Not much else to report.. (although, just as an observation, COLONOSCOPY, you really must learn to stop poking people in the chest when you want their attention!), and a timely exit was made just before the Heavens descended and whatever remained of PRETZEL’s alleged trail was washed out for ever. Oh, yes, ALL FOURS reported that NEXT WEEK’s wallet, which both she and he’d been running around looking for like a blue-arsed fly at the end of FRANKLY’s run the week before, turned out to be safely in his car after all. Good news indeed, but presumably worthy of a down down at the next opportunity..? The Scribe should take advantage of this public forum to advise GRANGE that he’ll need to write up his own run this coming Tuesday, or will need to allocate someone else to provide it as the Scribe will be attending ‘The Dry’ on the last night of the Westpac (formerly St George’s) open air cinema, (the one that rises out of the Harbour nr Mrs McQ’s Chair) that evening, (and he hopes it will indeed be dry!). The Scribe’s old mate DAME EDNA (not to be confused with B2H4’s legendary DAME NELLIE), with whom he first hashed on the London and West London hashes in 1987/88, prior to pitching up at the S2H4 later in ‘88, has asked me to extend an invitation to any Larrikin that may perchance find themselves in Northern NSW on the real date of Queen Elizabeth’s 95th birthday, and her (Dame Edna)’s 60th birthday, being Wed April 21st, with details as follows: “Chimney: can you put a note in your next trash: an invite to a Queen’s Birthday run 1300* Shaw’s Bay Hotel, Ballina Wednesday 21 April 2020. Plse also invite Botany Bay and the Harriettes: including sundowners with water views. Thanks on on Dame Edna”. *: upon enquiring, this refers to the start time, not the 1300th run of the Tarts On Tour Hash! Anyhow, who am I to say no to a Dame? Consider yourselves all duly invited. On On CHIMNEY.
————————————— My thanks to BAD NEWS for providing these corny puns c/o the Hobart Hash Trash..
A collection of cringeworthy puns…
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Help prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by.
I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’.
It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?
Time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar?
There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls were and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
Meanwhile SCOTTY FROM MARKETING has been busy..
Thanks to PHANTOM for this one:
Scotty from Marketing was visiting a remote little rural town in Australia and asked the locals what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the towns people.“First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
Scotty whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted that out.
A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
The towns people replied, “We have no mobile phone reception in our town……”
Thanks to JUKEBOX for a series of funny Sloppy Joe’s: there are far too many for HAL to be able to cope with in the newsletter, so there’s just one image here: the rest are to be found on the S2H4 FB page (which seems to have escaped Zuckerberg’s news ban!): Congratulations, btw, to
JUKIE on the birth of his first Great Grandchild this week: fark me, the Larrikins are gonna be near the head of the queue when the vaccines start getting doled out by Scotty from Marketing!
Another reminder to order your 2222 shirt, or your place at the Larrikin long brunch with a view imminently, if you haven’t already done so, and here’s hoping our esteemed GM FETCHIT is back on the mend, and in running shoes, soon, after having liberal chunks of flesh chopped out of him this week (and no, as far as I know, not by SCOTTY FROM MARKETING!): get well soon!
Upcoming images include SCOTTY FROM MARKETING, JUKEBOX’s fleet for his expanding clan, images from the alleged trail (and a conflicting message on the Blue’s Point Hotel’ public bar), SENATOR looking a tad horny, and the first of about 10 old fart sloppy joe messages (with, as mentioned, the rest being on the S2H4 FB page)